how do u happy tho
I think one of the worst parts of being depressed is seeing other people out having fun and having friends and shit. It feels like a personal fuck you to me even though that makes no sense. So I get the double shitty feeling that people hate me and are happy to spite me at the same time as knowing that it makes no fucking sense and I’m fucking crazy.
Looking at pictures of cute girls and getting sad is apparently my favorite pastime.
I’m just so tired of being angry at the world and every fucking asshole who lives in it. I’m tired of the disorder and the confusion. I’m tired of trying to be a good person and feeling like shit anyway. I’m tired of being lonely because nobody can live up to my fucking ridiculous standards and expectations.
It’s kinda sweet because it seems like the more depressed I am the happier Andrew tries to be, like he’s making up for it. idk why that’s sweet to me but it is so i don’t care. he is the best.
People are hard. ):
I was really happy to see my cat when I got home just now. She was really happy to see me too. Okay. I will stay home all the time now.